My beautiful essay (bolded the faves):
"The only way some people can find a purpose in life is by becoming obsessed with demons. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I heart my porn, but this is cool! Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet. You sanguine about the kind of reception we’re apt to receive on an Alliance ship, Cap’n? I mean, officially I deplore violence, but that was totally worth the loss of karma points! If I was blind, I would see you. Did the primary buffer panel just fall off my Gorram ship for no apparent reason? Anything for you, because I love you. Deep, deep man love. It’s funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.
"The only thing Willow was ever good for, the only thing I ever had going for me were those moments, just moments, where Tara would look at me and I was wonderful. I gave birth to a pterodactyl. They rampaged through half the known world until Angel got his soul. You always hurt the one you love. It’s getting eerie, what’s this cheery singing all about? Better to cut you down to size, grandma. Ah, the pitter patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots. The only time you were ever at peace in your whole life was when you were dead. I am never gonna see a merman, ever. I don’t buckle. Occasionally I swashbuckle.
"You were a worthless being before you were ever a monster. Stay with me. Forever. That’s the whole point. I wanna hurt you, but I can’t resist the sinister attraction of your cold and muscular body! You will keep a civil tongue in this house or we’ll put your tongue in a stew.
"Oh my god, I find lentils completely incomprehensible. You’re recently gay! Uh, thermal exhaust port’s above the main port, numbnuts. You’re gonna die screaming but you won’t be heard. Don’t strain your brain trying, then. Might break something. We’re pimps and killers, but in a philanthropic way. Oh my god you will never believe what happened at school today. Well we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer but, gosh, we did that last night.
"I am obsolete. This must be what old people feel like, and Blockbuster. Time is what turns kittens into cats. Did the primary buffer panel just fall off my Gorram ship for no apparent reason? I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. Well, excuse me, Mr. I-spent-the-sixties-in-an-electric-Kool-Aid-funky-Satan-groove! In their resting state, our actives are as innocent and vulnerable as children."
Art, right there.